Current mood:	sad
Current music:	My Chemical Romance - Welcome To The Black Parade

All recovered...
Its taken two weeks since I had my bike accident but I am back on my bike and I think riding it slightly better than I was before. I am at least quicker to pull myself from what I see as a possibly dangerous situation. The broken bones are pretty much healed although my hand still hurts quite a bit, it’s not unbearable and I am able to cope with it without any pain killers. I think my main injury of it was not being able to ride my bike or go to the gym. I am hoping to get the final all clear from the fracture clinic a week on Monday so all going well I’ll officially be back to normal and can go back to going to the gym 6 times a week *grins*

This last week has seen the passing of a whole chapter of my life which ended with the same person it started with, this time with probably the right decisions being made. The vanilla world is now closed to me and its time I sorted everything out and moved on. I am a little sad but at least I walk away with the understanding that I didn’t have before and for the first time in my life when I look at my lifestyle I don’t find myself thinking I am missing out on something. The things I thought I was missing turned out weren’t missing at all but fairly damaging for me and in the process of the dying embers of it all I found a part of me which I didn’t even known I was missing.

Socially my life is still very tied to very vanilla people and very vanilla ways of thinking and I think one of the more painful aspects of all of this will be walking slowly away from that. Trying to balance the Vanilla World, Me and the Scene is an act which is tricky at best and one which I don’t think I can do any more. I think I should leave my contact with the vanilla world to those very close friendships I have now and my work life. It is high time I got back out there, met people and started to build new social circles with a firm base in the scene.

So here I am on the other side of it all a little sad and fairly lonely but I know that will pass with time. I need to rebuild my life and lifestyle again. I’ve been putting this off for far to long now and there is for the first time a clear path and a plan of the things which I need to do and get done.

Well I guess I need to go, I have a hospital appointment tomorrow in the morning to get something done I’ve been putting off for 3 years now. Why is it new chapters in my life always begin with pain of one sort or another? Pain and Blood, good themes for a life I guess. They seem to recur in my life of that there is no doubt.